The Melbourne-Los Angeles Battle Heats Up!


Melbourne, Australia is finally starting to take center stage as the new beating heart of Australia.  With Sydney constricted by the harbour that made it famous, Melbourne is able to grow up and out while Sydney’s growth is choked.   On top of Melbourne’s booming population, it is a center for arts, sports, and main landing strip for those wanting to start the Great Ocean Road.

And now the world is finally taking notice.  The Melbourne to Los Angeles route currently consists of a once daily Qantas A380, A Virgin Australia 777-300ER three times a week, and a once daily United flight on a 777-200 that stops in Sydney on the way to the States.

However, United started to see the glimmer of Melbourne as a completely under serviced market and decided to use Melbourne as the inaugural route from Los Angeles on their brand new 787-9 coming this Autumn.  It will launch daily flights each way in October.

United 787-9 Factory Rollout - April 8, 2014

As with the 787-8 this will have the wider cabin, bigger windows, window dimmers, better compressed cabin, mood lighting, and bigger bathrooms with a view!  The difference is that the -9 is a stretched version of the -8.

So Qantas was like…. WELL FUCK! WE ARE AUSTRALIA’S CARRIER!  just because we haven’t been servicing the needs of Melbourne doesn’t mean some American company can! 

So BAM!  Starting shortly after the 787-9 launches its daily flights Qantas will add a second flight each day, so they will now be rocking an A380 and a 747 on the MEL-LAX route




And for Virgin Australia, with all this massive competition around their second largest hub what have they decided to do? … Well, nothing.   Not that they can.  They have no spare planes (and even if they did, they wouldn’t have planes capable of crossing the Pacific).  So Virgin will do what Virgin does best… Stand there, smile, and look pretty.  qNRTAS4

So i think their market will shrink.  With United flying the most advanced plane in service, and Qantas being able to boast 2 super jumbos each day…. what will be the draw to flying Virgin across the Pacific?


Fly High Fly Often!


The US Transcon Market Takes Flight!

tranRemember a few weeks ago when i made this post?

Talking about how the transcon market should get some 747’s going for luxury travel?  Well, that probably won’t happen, however, the airlines are now competing for the upper class traveler.

It all started with American Airlines unveiling their new A321 feating full flat beds in both first class and business class.

Business Class Cabin in-flight on American Airlines A321T tran2


Which was then followed by jetBlue launching its new A321 with the Premium Mint class.

tran3 tran4


And now Delta has come back by launching fully flatbed seats on all of its Transcon routes as well!  Delta has gone a step further and is even offering premium tanscon services from JFK to Seattle on top of LA and SFO on a 757 (a market where Delta has become determined to take over from Alaska Airlines)

tran6 trans5

On top of that Delta is making efforts (poor ones, but hey, they’re an American carrier, we can’t expect too much too fast from them), Anyway, they’re making efforts to make their Economy Comfort section closer to a Premium Economy cabin on their Transcon flights by offering pillows, blankets, and complimentary snacks.

trans7 trans9


So, the battle is on.  COME ON VIRGIN STEP UP WITH A 747 LIKE I WANT YOU TO!!!!!  


But hey, its good to see that American carriers are finally giving a shit about what its like to fly in their planes!





British Airways A318…. Over An Ocean. Are You Down?


So British Airways flies an all-business class A318 from JFK to London City Airport.

So this is awesome for a few reasons, first of all; Its to London City instead of Heathrow, so its literally right in the city, plus you don’t have to deal with Heathrow crowds.

Also its an all-business class plane, which means EVERYONE gets a big, flat-bed seat and there is only 32 people in this plane total.



Doesn’t that seem soooooooo nice?

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Everyone gets amazing service and business class amenities.



Ok but here is where I have reservations…

The flight is 7 1/2 hours…. and you’re over an open ocean for part of it… and the A318 is quite small.   So like…. what happens if you lose an engine or something?  Or worse, you have a fuel leak and are suddenly left gliding to nowhere.

Granted thats just a weird fear I have…. I know that a 777 is just as fucked with no engines as a 318 but still.   Weird phobia I guess.


Also another problem I would have is that unfortunately children are aloud in business class…and imagine being in that small plane with a fucking child.  over an ocean….for seven and a half hours.  

So it could be a really nice relaxing flight, or the flight from hell.


What are your thoughts?

Lets discuss this!


How Do You Feel About Sitting Backwards On Planes?



So on some business/ first class cabins you sit backwards (some examples are United, British Airways, and OpenSkies) but how do you feel about this?

Would this get you dizzy?  or like feeling weird?  I can’t image what takeoff would feel like if your backwards because then you’re facing down ahahah!!!! especially if you’re in the last row of business and so you’re just looking at all the economy passengers haha! I think Id get massive vertigo problems and just pass out or something (probably not, but still)

Like did you ever watch that Disney channel movie Zenon? (Probably not?… ok, keep denying thats fine…. Im not gonna judge you)



So anyway for all of you people who pretend you never watched that movie, there is a scene where Zenon flies back to the space station with these corporate big wigs who are awful people and she gets out of her seat and slides down the isle because of how steep the incline of the space ship is…I feel like that would happen if you sat backwards on a plane.  Just slide right out of your seatbelt and down the isle into the galley.  These are just things I worry about, don’t judge me!



Oh Zenon!


Anyway, so yeah what are your thoughts on this?


Its efficient, ill say that.  Its a way to cram a lot more people into business class…. but its like, and what sacrifice to the product and privacy?



I guess thats kind of nice tho?? if you’re traveling with someone else?  You can just talk to them while you eat.  it looks way too beige for me though.   Like that interior is so beige I have a feeling it was purchased at Pottery Barn.


Ok so tell me your thoughts on this!  Flying backwards, what do you think?

Zetus Lapetus y’all!



Sluts Of The Sky, Or Flying Virgin



Now ladies, before I hear any bitching about this, I want to point out that I’m gay.  So you can’t tell me I’m shallow or a chauvinist… well shallow maybe, but not a chauvinist. But Virgin is one of the best airlines to fly because of the Virgin flight attendant.

Here are some Virgin Atlantic girls



There is just something about good looking girls in short skirts and heels wearing that fire red skirt that makes the flight much more enjoyable than… lets say…. a Southwest attendant (see below for Southwest uniform options)



Yeah… um… though khaki shorts and a polo were acceptable when in catholic primary school, I just don’t think it shows much glamour.


Now look at Virgin Australia

Virgin Blue's new flight attendant and pilot uniforms.


Yeah baby yeah!  Even the pilot looks like a hott hunk of man chunk.

And now American Airlines…



Sensible yes.  Business casual? of course.  Fun, exciting, sexy, or attractive?  Not at all.

Even Virgin America (the most boring uniform of any Virgin carrier by far)  still kicks the ass of any other American carrier.



So, if you want a sexy fun flight experience, I’m gonna say Virgin any day!



This was a totally pointless I know.  Just blabbing about things






The Disney In-Flight Debacle


So I’m sure you have all seen this video by now right now yea?  Its somehow caused quite the controversy as to “what is appropriate in an airline”…. yes thats right… people re actually bitching about this.

Comments on the video such as :

“That would be rather annoying.”

“they paid for confort and peace, not to go to a concert on a plane, with all the noise you can’t even listen well. I agree, i may be cool and all, very nostalgic song, but a plane is not the place for this, and as much as I like the song, I would also be annoyed as hell :/”

“Id have found it annoying. I hate musicals.

What if they were rapping? What if they were singing screamo shit?

Not everyone likes the same music, dont force it upon them.”

“I would be so pissed if i was on that plane”


Where exactly did you people lose your soul?    Were you thrown down a well like that girl from The Ring and lost your sense of good nature and became evil?  Are you one of the heroin-addicted veterans from the Vietnam War who were never really able to see the sunshine again?  SERIOUSLY!


How many moments in life are more boring than when boarding a plane?  You have nothing to do while stupid people struggle to fit a suitcase the size of a basketball player into the overhead bin.

And then a professional cast of the musical adaptation of one of the greatest films of all time (And I’m not just saying that look at the lists, it makes almost all of them) starts singing in such amazing flag-mob style harmony and you get mad?


Look motherfuckers if I was there I would be like OH HELL YES!  and Id start singing (probably out of tune and i don’t really know the words of whole ‘nimbuwamaba mumbamaba blah blah’ type lyrics, but I would have myself a great time!


And whats your excuses?  I want peace on an airplane…. I would have liked to sleep… I don’t care for that song….. and whatever else you say to yourself, but in reality I know the truth what you all mean is:


And look at these two guys!



How adorable is that?  You have these two kind of ghetto street looking guys (the one on the right is really cute by the way) and  yet they’re singing and enjoying themselves like they walked off the set of Sister Act 2!


The point of this is lighten up.


And seriously have you seen the video of B.O.B trying to rap over the PA…ugh…. if you think this was annoying be glad you weren’t on that flight!


Ive Created The Worlds Trashiest Airline



So did you know that the Boeing website has a ‘design your own 747’ feature?  Its amazing let me tell you!  And have I abused it and formed an ungodly plane that may as well being a flying gay cruise?  Of of course.

I proudly present Rave Airways newest Boeing 747-8

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Oh yea…. isn’t she beautiful? I know she is…you don’t have to say it!

Rave Airways will fly in a 3 class configuration.  The lowest economy product being;


In Oral Class, guests will fly in a spacious 3-3-3 configuration.  Offering the most space of any 747 economy class.  This will offer our guests more space…to… um… “move” about the cabin.  Bathrooms has been made larger in order to satisfy our guests need to join the mile high club.  In the Oral Class amenity kit, condoms and lubricant will be offered, as well as toothbrush, earplugs, and a postcard.


Our Oral Class flight attendants will be old haggard trannies.  Their age and wisdom will benefit all customers seated in Oral Class.


Our business product will be known as;



Penetration Class will be our full-service business class product offering lie-flat seating,



Full-service doesn’t end with your seat either.  Male go-go dancers will serve as your friendly flight attendants and provide the in-flight entertainment.

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Oh yeah, you see those pink stars on the engines?  YOU SOOOOOO KNOW YOURE DYING TO BE IN THAT PLANE 

Our upper deck on the 747-8 will be reserved only for our first class product;



Yes, feel the luxury and prestige that can only be felt while experiencing double penetration class.   An open suite layout, fully stocked bar, luxury 4 course meal service, all concluded with your inflight feature presentation, Evita.  Followed by an encore presentation of Evita.

Your flight attendant will be none other than Cher herself, dressed in one of her full-blown crazy people ensembles.



Thats right! Can you feel the exuberance of flying with us?  It will be an absolute ORGY for the senses, i guarantee it.

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We at Rave Airways look forward to being able to service your every need.  NO matter how small…or large your needs may be!